Chuck Norris is Badass

[shock_core]

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

8. 4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fudging Indian.

10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

[BLLDOGG]

[img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rofl.gif[/img]

thats funny

[01MaroIL]

repost

[dmw319]

there are 10 billion of these. go to www.entensity.net and go thru all the archives and recent posts.. hilarious! he was on conan obrien talking about all of the attention he has been getting lately.

[majeskyb]

or you can go to the Cuck Norris random fact generator site. They have a ton of good ones
Chuck Norris random fact generator

[Mighty Thor]

This is a true story. Back then in '97 my girlfriend ran over Chuck Norris with her white Corolla. He was jogging up the Yorba Linda hills and she made a quick right turn without looking to her right to see if she was clear, she only checked her left side. Next thing she knows, Chuck Norris was on top of her hood.

He was ticked off but didn't really do anything. He just told her to mind her driving. If that was me, he would have knocked my lights off.

[Phate]

Chuck Norris invented Jousting, but in his day, he just rode on a horse bareback and held out his manhood.